Being surrounded by creative people could be quite stressful. I have been feeling a bit silly when everyone just effortlessly seem to be able to write a 500 word short story and I just keep staring at the blank page thinking “How do I get out of this emotional black hole?”.
It’s not as easy as everyone imagines and makes it out to be. They say that claiming that you lack inspiration is just a lazy excuse for not writing and that makes me feel really anxious. I do want to write. I get ready, sit in front of the blank page on my computer/notebook and just cannot think of a word to write down. This has brought me to lots and lots of anxiety attacks.
I tried writing literally anything that pops into my head but sometimes it’s just too empty. This always happens when I consciously fall into a routine. When I do the same things every day, when I feel a bit low (for days and for weeks), when I feel like the most uninteresting person in the world – my head just turns hollow.
What is the solution? I don’t even know. Every day I try to answer this question myself. I have gotten quite good at describing things I see, however that’s not what I want to do. I want to write fiction stories, create fictional characters and think of fictional plotlines. This is a thing that I used to be quite good at. More than a year ago, and the years before that, I used to be able to write chapters and chapters of original work in just one night, with such an ease that I felt so good about myself and I knew that this was what I wanted to do forever.
I still want to do it but it’s just x100 times harder.
Did I really just rant about my lack of inspiration and used it as an inspiration for a new blog post? Yes, I did.